Merry Christmas Everyone

"Please be gentile." - Shac, December 2005

Under Siege 12: Revenge of the Temp

Remember I told you about the temps working in my office? You know, the ones who we thought were falling in love? Long story short, it didn't work out. Got one of the temps a full time job at my dad's office.

At the time, temp number 2 (T2) pretended to be all, "OMG, congratulations, I am so happy for you! How nice of this very important young man to take a few moments out of his busy day to change your fucking life," when in actual fact he was thinking, "Hey fucker, why haven't you taken a few moments out of your busy day to change my fucking life." Well, let me answer your question in two parts: a) What? and b) We're not selling cakes.

Three weeks on, T2 is STILL here. Everytime one of us tells him it is his last day he tricks someone else into inviting him back.

Truth be told, I'm not even sure if he is doing anything anymore. He is always on the phone and last time he went down to the basement for supplies he was gone an hour and spotted walking up King Street.

He has also started working strange hours. Two hours before we arrive and two hours after we leave, he says.

So, what to do about the part time temp turned full time hustler? He's so nice to our faces and it was us who gave him an inch. I suppose it is only God's way that he should take a mile. Damn us and our complete lack of management skills.

I think it is all going to come to a head before Christmas so I let you know how it goes. If you don't hear anything by New Year, call the police.

One night only

Supply and Da Man

The much anticipated sequel to 50 Cent's Get Rich or Die Tryn. When the rap gets rough, the rap star turns wholesale furniture importer. "Gran' sale, gran' sale. Brunswick and Footascray." In cinemas soon.

DEATH: The Ultimate Orgasm?

A note about author, Mike Agostini: Well-known sportsman, one-time World's Fastest Human, TV commentator, journalist, coach, diplomat, Indian Chief and also a great storyteller.

Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?!

I was at Meredith this weekend so missed the lead up to this fucking shameful behaviour in Sydney today. What in God's name is going on? Are these people for fucking real? WHERE THE FUCK AM I? Have these cunts gone completely fucking mad? I was under the impression that we were living in a tolerant society. My bad.


WHY?

Run, it's a guy with a bat!