She lies and says she loves geography, can't find the Netherlands

In North American usage, an overnight flight from coast to coast is referred to as the "Red Eye". I suggest that the Europe-Melbourne flight should be referred to as the "Crumpled Face, Prickly Body and Drained Spirit." That's right folks, I'm home! It's good to be back, it's good to be in my pyjamas and it's good to not have random Italians walking through my room every ten minutes.

Things I have learnt about Europe:
1. Poland is flat. At least on the train trip from Berlin to Warsaw you see nary a hill.
2. Poland is ruled by twins. At least at the time of writing this - they've just had an election which may have changed this, and while I hesitate to rush to conclusions about other countries' politics, I can't help thinking that might be a good thing, no?
3. Anyone can say "I'm truly exhausted," or "I'm well and truly exhausted" but if you want to say "I'm well exhausted" you have to be British and/or a wanker.
4. "Wanker" is one of only two words that I can think of in English where "wa" makes the "ae" sound, as in "cat". I'm not telling you the other one, you can work it out yourselves. (I'm unilaterally disallowing onomatopeic words like "wham, whack" etc.)
5. Okay, so that one wasn't exactly about Europe, but I'm talking about the fundamental interconnectedness of all things here, get on board.
6. Poland has kebab-flavoured chips! (These weren't as exciting as they sound, pretty much exactly the same as "hamburger" chips or "chicken" chips or any flavour of non-yuppy chips other than plain or salt and vinegar).
7. If Australians in London ask you out for "lunch" don't make any plans before 7 the next morning.

So did I thank you guys enough for your hospitality, by the way? I think the correct amount would be "profusely".

That's enough time for me in the limelight, I feel there may be a Thommo wafting this way. A densening of the beardosphere, if you will...