Knowledge is power. Totalitarian systems are based on the concentration of power.

Did anyone else catch this piece of American propaganda in the Age the other day? I just noticed it in a copy of Wednesday's paper that had been lying around the house - felt like I'd flicked over to Fox News by mistake.

Customer Service Prayer

Lord grant me the balls to be an arsehole to the people who deserve it
The graciousness to be sweet to those who don't
And the presence of mind to spot the difference.

Live life on the edge

Remember that apartment block that recently started collapsing into a new tunnel in Sydney? It's up for sale and the description?

Luxury, 1.5 b/room apt, renovated and detonated, run the risk enjoy the rewards.

Recently renovated, then remodeled again by specialist tunnel engineers, Views to China and back, Easy access to the tunnel and freeway, Icon of the northern beaches, Free flowing air ducts, Building manager (several) on site, High fences for extra security, Floating floorboards (inc floating bedroom), Entertainment room flowing onto 10 metre concrete balcony, 360 degree views (down), 1000 cubic metres of high grade quick drying concrete (ideal for a future pool or decking) and huge underground storage room.

The current owner has been relocated for business and as a result they are highly motivated to sell.

The builders who have recently remodeled the apartment are very keen make the new owner a wonderful offer to buy the property. How much or how low…. we do not know. So if you are a betting man (or women) put on your stack hat and make an offer.

The tender does close at the end of the month and you can bid as many times as you like.

Live life to the edge and best of luck with the bidding.

Apple High Definition Movie Trailers

Have just been checking out the new high definition movie trailers. It's fuck off great: the largest hi-def version is bigger than my screen.

Just four hours to go

It's easy, so easy,
Easy at Video Ezy
So easy, it's easy,
Easy at Video Ezy,
Make it easy, so easy
Easy at Video Ezy etc.

*Note the way the jingle lyricists (jingle-ists) rhyme easy with Ezy.

Who did we beat to qualify last night?

Go Soccer!

Temp Love?

We ordered some temps in today from an agency to do all those shit office tasks that we all think we're too important to do ourselves. We were expecting some childs (as IOYC would say) but were SHOCKED when our temps turned out to be full grown adults. Like - 40 or something.

They seemed "down and out". Have been out of work for ages so have both turned to temping. (I think the guy is a drinker - he has a drinkers face - I'm expecting him to turn up to work tomorrow completely shitfaced.)

Anyway - we assigned them to their menial tasks and locked them in a room.

"GET OUT MY SIGHT! I'M HAVING A MASSAGE!" (No, you can't have a massage - you're a temp - return to work.)

Moments later: AN EXPLOSION (of love for each other)!

Locked in their little room of shame, I think the temps really HIT IT OFF! Chatting, laughing - FLIRTATIOUS TOUCHES!

We called up the agency and are having them come in again tomorrow just so we can see if our theories are right. We'll be on the look out for tell tale signs. More makeup. Sobriety. I'll keep you posted.

Protest Injury:

Chapped Lips.

Happy 1st Birthday

Thanks to everyone who came out to celebrate the first birthday of The United Notions today.

I love (but am slightly terrified) by the fact...

...that no one in my office seems to be doing any work.

I was late to work today (walked in about 9:15am) but was still one of the first to arrive. I was one of the last to leave when I walked out at 5:15pm.

This phenomenon has been steadily getting worse for weeks now. In fact, on Friday it was so bad that the possibility that I'd actually come to work on a Saturday flashed through my mind.

By December I'm anticipating people will come in just for a few hours over lunch.

By next year: a full scale, 28 Days Later situation with me walking through the office in a hospital gown looking for survivors.


TODAY'S INJURIES:
- Newsprint inflicted paper cut.

Thank God for her Madge-esty

"More than 20 years after her first Australian No.1 hit, Madonna pushes Kanye West's Gold Digger to No.2."

(Surely you remember Gold Digger)

Office banter - 8:55am

Office bitch: All alone Ben.
Me: Yeah, I am this morning.
Office bitch: *judgemental* You'll probably get more work done.
Me: *abusive* hehe

So do you journos talk to each other, or what?

From page 1 of today’s Age:

Paris burns to hip-hop beat but Muslims can’t take rap
…

The riots, described as France's worst since May 1968, have been linked to the threat of radical Islam. But both descriptions are misleading. The violent unrest is better compared to the riots that burnt down African-American ghettos across the United States in the 1960s.

"It is nothing to do with radical Islam or even Muslims," says Olivier Roy, research director at the French National Centre for Scientific Research and one of the world's leading authorities on political Islam.

He says that although many rioters are from Muslim backgrounds, "these guys are building a new idea of themselves based on American street culture. It's a youth riot — they are protesting against the fact that they are supposed to be full French citizens and they are not."

…and from Tony Parkinson’s editorial on page 15:

Dream of integration mugged by reality on the streets of Paris

AS PARIS confronted a 12th night of rioting by angry hordes of Muslim youths, many in Europe must be wondering whether they are sitting on a volcano. After 60 years of relative postwar stability, is the intifada soon to come to a neighbourhood near them?

…

Despite living within a few kilometres of the heart of Paris, it seems a large body of angry and unassimilated Muslims have never seen the French republic as other than an alien entity. More dangerously, some clearly see it as an enemy state.

…

In France, as elsewhere, the rise of Islamism appears to be fuelling an alarming and atavistic appetite among young Muslims for what they see as violent revenge.

Dude, where's my neighbours?

So I woke up this morning to discover that pretty much all of my neighbours had been ARRESTED for terrorism.

There have been underworld shootings, serial killers (you know who you are) and drug lords near by for years, but now I discover I'm totally fucking surrounded by innocent-until-proven-otherwise terror-suspects.

Dallas, Hoppers Crossing, Fawkner, Preston, Coburg, Yarraville, Meadow Heights and Hadfield. I won't say I'm surprised, because that is just so typical. No one ever suspects their neighbours.

"I am surprised (about the raid)," she said.

I've decided to become ultra-suspicious. (Alert, not alarmed). I'm going to get all Jimmy Stewart on my neighbours...sitting in my window with the lights out, watching, judging, dialing the terror hotline.

"Hi, I just wanted to let you know: ALL CLEAR."

I might even start watching my back. Maybe SEEK ALT. ROUTE to work each day - making lots of left turns (that's something, right?).

Just in case: 1800 123 400

Sunday (Dec 4)...in the afternoon

ALERT: Revolutionary idea.

A SUNDAY AFTERNOON (IN SAID LOCATION*) FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

Since all the nights surrounding my b'day are being hogged by other events (you know who you are) I'm planning something OUTRAGEOUS. Day time party.

"It's just like night time Metro, 'cept for day time."

I'm investigating the option of having it in a "park" but it will prol end up at mine. Will keep y'all posted.


This could be us, 'cept we're not black. I can't go back.

Blog Flog

Variety Shac - 34-14: The latest (and I reckon greatest) Shac is online and it's freakin perfect.

What's This On My Hand? - IOYC-esque, but worth every penny...(free priceless)

PLUS: Get in on the ground level with Willowdale City Council - "On The Technically Second Day I Created Sharon: She is everything I could have possibly hoped for and so much more. I am extremely pleased at how Sharon turned out. She is going to be perfect for the city."

Meanwhile, I'm having a birthday SITUATION. That bogan from KYNETON (you know who she is) is having her 21st (since when is she so young?) on December 3. That's when I was planning on having my party, but I don't want to deprive you guys of the free booze and food that make 21sts such fantastic fucking rorts.

SO WHY NOT HAVE A PARTY THE FOLLOWING WEEK?

Good question, but FUCK - I have Meredith (excitement: uncontainable).

SO WHY NOT HAVE A PART THE WEEK BEFORE?

Well, that was my original plan, but Scott says that's uncooth PLUS I have a work thing.

SO... (this is getting really boring)

I think we'll do something on Thursday DECEMBER 1, 2005.

Scott and Ben's Excellent Adventure

Scott and I embarked on a leisurely Saturday afternoon "ride to town". The best and worst of our journey is brought to you by my new "when the hell am I going to need a camera in my phone?" phone.

Stalking incident #1:

Makybe?

Stalking incident #2:

Stalking incident #3:

Lucky John

It's probably going too far to describe specific intelligence of terror threat in Australia as lucky, but John Howard and his crew must be pretty relieved to have received this week's news.


Here they are trying to pass extremely contentious new industrial relations legislation and suddenly we have specific intelligence of a terror threat. Of course, they can't tell us specifically what that threat is. No, no, no - that would undermine urgent efforts to counter the threat.

Thanks to this new intelligence (and I don't question its authenticity given Beasley AND the Premiers have signed off on it), the terror legislation is now so urgent that we should all just... look into my eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, the eyes, you're under... forget about the IR changes - isn't staying alive more important to you than having enough money to feed and educate your family? Are you some kind of freak? Are you? Can't send your kids of school if it has been attacked by terrorists, you know!

Is this movie worth $7000?

I randomly ended up watching The Broken Hearts Club on the weekend.



It was returned on Sunday night after being on loan since 2001. It was a new release when it was hired, so the late fee was more than $7000. So I had to know -- is this movie worth paying $7000 for?

In short, no, but the movie wasn't too bad.

Highlights:
- Pre-Scrubs, pre-Garden State Zach Braff with peroxide hair
- Post American Pie but pre-Best In Show Jennifer Coolidge
- Kerr Smith (Jack from Dawson's - so many memories...)

Lowlights:
- "The shortest distance between friends isn't always a straight line." Need I say more?